Monday, December 10, 2007

Emotional

Well, Sunday was wonderful! It was just one of those day's that everything seems to go right =)

Sunday afternoon we were practicing for our Christmas Musical "The heart of Christmas" and I just kept getting so emotional thinking about the fact that my parents are going to come. Tim and I are in the musical. I'm in the choir and Tim will be singing a solo. The fact that my parents are coming is HUGE. They never really want to do anything that has to do with church but I think because Tim and I are actually going to be in it and have worked hard on it they want to see what has been accomplished. I'm also inviting some unsaved family and pray that they will receive the gift of eternal life.


I just wanted share this since it was on my heart!


a few quotes....

"it's alright for the ship to be in the water but its not ok for the water to be in the ship" ship-christians; water- world

"you will meet the same devil wherever you go. So stay Strong in the Lord"

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Gotta Love the Holidays!

A picture taken off my parents deck....so pretty.....


Thanksgiving has passed and Christmas is soon to arrive.

Thanksgiving was so great! I mean you have the HUGE roasted turkey, with stuff, mashed potatoes, green bean cassarole, deviled eggs, gravey and everything is HOMEMADE!! YUM!!

I finally got to meet my sister-in-law! She is such a doll! She has the greatest accent and has funny names for things. They went to get ice cream and she said "I want some of those bits and pieces (reffering to sprinkles)" and they were packing to head back to CA and my mom asked her if they had clothes for the next day and she said "Brad has trousers upstiars". I about died! She is to cute! and you gotta love the accent!!

Tim and I have been extremley busy. It seems like we have to stay up late just to find time for each other. I guess thats part of being a grown up but its just not as fun ;)

I have become very busy at work. It likes like I will be putting in 50+ hours the next few weeks. I guess thats a good thing since the holiday seasons are coming up. It just takes a toll on the body and I become so.....so......CRANKY! I know that is probably why Tim has avoided me (just kidding.....i think).

Tim headed to Michigan this weekend for his cousin wedding. He then went to ohio to see his brother Ken and his family. I really wish I could have been there. There wer so many friends and family. *sigh* Its ok though...I know one day...I will be able to spend eternity with them :)

My family is doing ok. I just saw my two uncles whom I haven't seen in about a year. They both have cancer and look as if it is winning. It was really hard to hold back tears. It has taught me that life is too short and that forgiving and forgetting is a MAJOR part of life. I have alaways loved my uncles but have hated many of the choices they have made. It hurts me to see them and their famlies suffer. I pray for them, that they will be overcome this battle and learn from it.


I have been doing ok health wise. The holidays have been harder for me this year. I got to the doctor on Monday and I'm pretty sure I am going to make the choice to have the weight loss surgery. My body is just to much to deal with. it doesn't seem to do what it's supposed to do and It holds me back from SOOOO much! It is so upsetting to watch what you eat, excersize and not see ANY results.....but anways...enough of the pitty party...


Well Tim will be home tonight so I want to make sure the house is clean and that he comes home to a nice HOME cooked meal ;)

May God bless you and yours...

Love,
Ann Marie

Friday, October 26, 2007

Times a chaninging!

Well, its been a while since I last posted and ALOT has gone on!

We have a new nephew named Benjamine Michael. He is so stinkin cute and loves to be held! Tim and I are now working with the teen bus boys and still working in our bus ministry. We were able to spend some quality time with our best friends Rich and Kerry this past September. Shorty after our visit with them in ocean City we found out they are expecting their first child! AMEN!! They are a HUGE blessing to Tim and I. We met them in college and though we are apart, everytime we talk on the phone or get together we act as if we have seen each other every day!

I am going to a Dr. who I think has finally figured out whats wrong with me. I know thats a loaded response but hey, you know what i mean =P. I have lost a lil over 20 lbs and all I have done is stayed away from sweets (well tried at least its a lot harder than I thought it would be).

Tim will start working for the church full time as their maitnence guy. He's pretty excited about it. I think he will enjoy it. He likes being a handy man.

My mom is doing much better. She finally found a dr who is trying to help her.

We finally get to meet my brothers wife (my sister in law) for the first time in November. They got married in January of this year and because of bad advice she has had a hard time getting her green card. Since 9/11 the rules have changed and she has to wait 3 years before she is offically an American but she has her temporary card now =). btw she is from England and I love her accent!!

Other than work keeping me busy and church we are doing well. The weather is starting to get cooler (which i love!) and the leaves are changing. Its harder to tell in the city but when I travel south its so pretty =)

Well anyway, headed up to spend some time with Tim. I feel as if we live in a house together but the only time we see each other is before we fall asleep!

Prayers
Love,
Ann Marie

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What?!?! A whole month went by without a blog from me?!?! Oh dear....I must play catch up.....

Let see, June was almost uneventful. The second week of June I broke a tooth and had to go to the dentist. It was a tooth I had already had a root canal in and from what my new (and my now favorite dentist) told me, the previous dentist did not fill it properly. Anyway, he fixed it and was able to fit me with a crown. I went back 2 weeks later to have the crown put on and everything went great! My tooth felt good and I finally felt as if things were going well. Tim and I left the dentist office and stopped to get a bagle for breakfast. I took a bite (mind you I didn't even chew yet) and the same tooth on the other side broke in half! I wanted to scream!! So I went back the next day and had to have a root canal done in that one and then we found out I need another in front of that tooth. But I have to tell you, I went for my cleaning last week and I HAVE NO CAVATIES!!!! woohoo!!! So I just have two teeth to get capped and then I should be good =) So happy!!!

Last weekend was our 6 year anniversary and I'm sure you are wondering how we spent it....well, it was the most romantice weekend.....hahah just kidding! Rusty was so sick! We thought for sure we were going to lose him during the weekend. He was vomiting and had bloody stools. After two days of worrying if he was going to make it or not we woke up Monday and He acted as if nothing ever happened!!! lol gotta love the dog ;)

Well, my lunch break is over and I wanted to update everyone on this. not that anyone reads it.......at least I don't think so =P

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Broken Hearts

It breaks my heart to sit on my front porch and watch the world go by. As a Christian, you tend to have more compassion for this world and the people in it. I literally watch people walk up and down our sidewalks and streets that are addicted to drugs, and I wonder if this is how their lives have always been? A slave to a pill, needle, or smoke? I watch the next generation walking down our ally way smoking pot and laughing, thinking they are so cool. If they only knew that in 10-15 years they will regret these moments. What has happened to the parents of today? They just don't care. They have a career, or selfish reasons for not caring for their children. There are people like me, who would love to have a baby, raise a wonderful family, be a stay at home mom, taking care of my children and waiting for my husband, their dad, to come home so we could greet him and see a smile on his face. I dream of this day, yet there are children have babies and not caring for them.
Today the upstairs neighbors (next to our home) was evicted because they owe about $900.00 in rent. They were upset because a few of their items were missing (such as a tv and dvd player) and wanted their items. Its interesting how selfish people really are. You owe $900.00 in rent and they still expect you to give them everything! How frustrating. I am thankful they are gone. I feel bad they were evicted but they were warned and they knew it was coming. They brought way to much traffic to our street and the saddest thing was they couldn't pay their rent but they were always drunk or high.
I pray that my children will never have to deal with people like this. I know I will make them aware of what happens, I will make sure they understand. But I pray that they will be strong enough to say no. It's so hard to watch my bus kids suffer, and to think the people next door are suffering. If they could only understand Christ as I have, to accept him, and be thankful for His mercy and Grace. I'm so thankful for Jesus dying on the cross for me. I am so thankful for His shed blood saving me from the pits of Hell. I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband, and his wonderful family. I'm thankful for loving parents and brothers. I'm thankful for my wonderful friends. I have so much more than I deserve. What more could I ask for?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

A prisoner in my own home...

So this blog is pretty much my venting blog!!!
Over the last few months we have been dealing with some disrespectful, inconsiderate and just unruly neighbors. Tim and I live in a row home in Brooklyn Park. I wouldn't say its the worst part of the ghetto, but its becoming close. We have an end unit and Tims brother owns the next unit, and Tims dad owns the third unit and I believe the 5th and 6th unit. Well, a while ago Tom had to move out because their family was expanding and they needed more space for Noah to run around. Our road was so quite, and no one messed with anything, you never saw people hanging out or anything. They all pretty much just stayed to themselves. Then the new people arrive. The one word to describe them is Loud! Well, fine, go ahead be loud, you are in your own house. But then we started to notice more and more traffic, then we noticed the neighbors mom hanging out on the corner, and the son doing drugs. Then the daughter (who is 14) starts buying drugs right in front of our house! The neighbors upstairs are addicted to heroine and are always fighting and the cops have been called several times for him hitting her. Then the down stairs neighbors are just as insane, ones a prostatute, one runs drugs for the druggies, and all of them do drugs! I've about lost my mind! I feel as if I can't even go out in my own yard and relax because you have insane people trying to start stuff! I don't know what to say. I'm just going to continue to pray and as God to help us through this and the next people that move in (because they both are getting evicted soon) are much better and actual, reliable, adults! Please pray for us as we go through this trial!
Other than that, We are doing well. I've been promoted at work and enjoying my new position. Tim and I are very active in our church and enjoying the bus ministry. We don't really have weekends so I can't wait for next weekend when I got monday off!! =)
Well, I hope you all have a great day! Thanks for reading my thoughts! lol
Love,
Ann

Friday, April 27, 2007

Tomorrow is always a new day...

I know that today's struggles will become tomorrows accomplishments but sometimes you just wish it wasn't so hard...all the time. I know there is a reason for everything. I know God is constantly molding and making us. The last few days have been difficult for me. I've started my medicine again about a month ago and I can feel it starting to affect me. I've become more moody, snapping at Tim for no reason, losing my patience on the simple things. I find myself crying over almost everything (tears are pouring right now and I'm just writting!!!). Here's the deal...
May 1st I get my new insurance from my company. I am praying that it is good insurance, and a large group policy. If it is, then I would qualify for the gastric bypass surgery. I know what some of you are thinking "its so dangerous" or "What a cop-out". Well, you would be wrong to think either one. It's dangerous for you to get in a car, its even more dangerous to be 200lbs over weight and make your heart work 3 times as hard. Its not a copout at all. I have had medical problems since I can remember. I had always been an active child. Playing in sports, running around a farm, and doing what most kids do. My parents didn't have a lot of money so it wasnt like there was tons of food to eat all the time. They are now finding out that my hormones are so out of wack that I just continue to gain the weight. I can try to lose it but everything seems to go crazy and I'm just at a loss. It was not to long ago that I found myself sitting in the bathroom with a bottle of pills contemplating whether or not I should take them all at once. Thankfully God knew my heart and needs me here so he had Sarah (who never calls because we are both so busy) call me to say "hi". My weight has drove me to this moment several times, I just never was serious about it as I was that day. A week later God gave me a job (if I had only trusted in Him that he would supply my needs, that moment would have never happened) and the job comes with immediate (well starting the 1st of the month) insurance. So with all of that said, I'm praying that God provides a way for me to be happy and healthy. I can no longer live like this. I'm not the same person on the outside as I am on the inside. I just want to feel better. I don't even want to look beautiful. I just want to feel better.
Today I struggle with emotions and overwhelming feelings. Tomorrow, I pray that God gives me peace and understanding....
Looking forward to tomorrow...

Thursday, April 19, 2007

4:30am and not sleeping...

So, I was wide awake this morning at 4:30am. I mean, if you know me, you know I love sleep, so why in the world could I not sleep any longer?!?!?! Well, it could have been the fact that I fell asleep around 8pm the night before, or the fact that I ate some Ledo's pizza (to much actually) and it wasn't sitting with me well. Either way I'm up, and the rest of the world is sleeping. It's actually pretty quite during this time. All i've heard the the chirping of birds.
I've been enjoying my job a lot. There is so much to learn and I feel as if everyday I'm learning something new. A lot of the ladies I work with complain about the company. But I am thankful for the previous company I worked for. It made me realize how much more is out there! My goal (and I know Satan will do everything in his power to try and ruin this for me) is not to get caught up in the "office gossip" or talk bad about anyone to anyone! I mean I've already had a run in with one of the ladies, but I just keep telling myself, God put her in my life for a reason. I've already been labeled the "Sunny brooke farm girl" because I'm always smiling, giggling, and humming. I'm not sure what they say about me behind my back, but then again, I'm not to worried. I've been told I'm doing a great job, so that helps a lot =). The company has some great benefits and I'm pretty excited about moving up in the company. The whole, working in the city thing is...interesting. There is always someone walking around asking for money, and then there are the people who have always lived in the city who walk as if no one else is around and you better get out of their way before they run you over. Then there are the people who just go with life's flow and don't even realize the amazing structures and "beauty" of the city. I probably look like a tourist because I'm always looking up at these HUGE buildings!!! Anyway, I'm loving my job and I get my first pay check this week!!! woohoo!!!
Not to much else is going on right now. There's Church, Bus Ministry and Super Church.
Well, I think I'm gonna go up and do laundry. Until next time...

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

No I'm not dead....lol

Ok, I know you guys are freaking out about me not being on myspace. I mean I know I'm addicted and all but its ok, don't freak out =P.

First of all, I forgot to pay the cable bill, well I didn't forget, I just scheduled it for the wrong month lol. So we didn't have cable last night. And today I went to a "motivational" conference. So with all that said, lets just say I'm motivated to blog! But I'm tired, and I wan't to put my thoughts together before I blog about my very informative, but overwhelming day! I've been up since about 5:15am, battling thunder, lightning, heavy down pours, the light rail, a cold cup of vanilla chia tea from Dunkin donuts, I had to throw my HUGE bottle of Deer Park water that I hadn't even opened yet in the trash cause we weren't allowed to bring it in (cause they wanted you to spend $3.75 on their small Aquafina waters *sigh*), a very crowded arena, I listened to some WONDERFUL, Inspiring speakers, but I'm exhausted! So I'll blog more tomorrow! Hope you all have a great night!!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Kicking off the week....

Well, today is Monday. Generally, when the work force thinks of Mondays, their face becomes a distorted mess. But today was not a typical Monday for me. I had an interview this morning for a mortgage company. It was in the city (which if you know me, you know is a HUGE culture shock for a girl who spent her first 14 years on 350 acres) and I made Tim drive me. I know for a fact I would not have never made it there alive and even if I did, I probably would not have a car right now because it requried parallel parking (something I only learned once inorder to get my drivers liscense and avoid at all costs) and I would have gotten towed. The interview was interesting. The company is very casual. I'm not saying work casual I'm saying, wear what you would wear Saturday morning while cleaning your house casual! I met with two ladies who were extremely sweet, but very set in their ways. I was excited to hear about the "copy" position (that is what they kept referring to it as I explained the "glorified name" would be assistant) and how they love to work with people and teach them as much as they want to know. I love a challenging position, even if it is a "copy" position. There is a lot of room to grow and everyone was extremly friendly! It seemed as if they were trying to offer me the position but could not since they had to go through the agencie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed hoping that they make me an offer =). But at the same time I'm at peace with it if I do not get the position. There has to be the perfect job out there for me right?

Tim and I are doing much better. We had a long talk on Friday and realized that our priorities were not where they should be. We want to serve God in the way HE would want us to serve him. Sometimes I think Tim feels he needs to prove something to this world. I'm not saying that in a bad way, but I do feel he thinks that at times. I know he thinks I deserve the best in life (and trut me, I am thankful he feels that way) but I'm a simple gal, with simple needs. I don't need a $600.00 purse, or $150.00 pair of shoes. I'm happy shopping at payless when they have the buy one get one (bogo) free deal! Or taking me to a yard sale! I think he's starting to realize that now (after 6 years of marriage and 8 years total of being together).

Well, I should get going. Need to do laundry and cleaning and well my wifely duties!
Until next time...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I just don't get it...

So once upon a time...there lived a girl...
Oh forget it...
I'm seriously at a loss. I have no idea what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling the way I am or where it is even coming from! I feel guilty, I feel hopeless, I feel angry, and I'm sick of hearing "That is not acceptable". I mean I "try" (I'm not allowed to say this because everything is supposed to be a "result" and "try" or "trying" is not acceptable) so hard everyday to be positive. I get up, take a shower, get ready as if I am leaving for work, I go downstairs (where I am currently) to spend 3-4 eye crossing hours, looking/applying/emailing about different jobs/positions and then I have to muster up some sort of energy after feeling like a loser because it's been 5 months with no job and clean a house that obviously is my "job" since I don't have a "job" but yet it's still my "job" even if I had a "job". I feel like screaming! No really, I feel like putting on a pair of sneakers, grabbing my purse, and walking away from this unforgiving life! I feel like I should be walking on egg shells when my husband comes in from a long day at work. Is it ok to joke, is it ok that I'm sitting on the bed watching tv?, should I pretend to be working? I mean seriously, does he think I want to be home, bored out of my mind looking for a job most of the day, weeding through the crappy jobs (ya know the ones where they want you to 1) be a telemarketer and call people and try to sell soap on a rope2) stuff envelopes3) if you give us money we will send you a program that will allow you to make thousands of dollars an hour) and feeling like a complete, incompetent, loser? Ok fine, I'm fat, I've struggled with weight my entire life (well except when I was 5 and I actually had abs!). I remember being teased horribly as a child because of my weight. I've never been good at anything. The only thing I have accomplished in life is graduating from High School and getting married to a guy who doesn't beat me. So with that said, everything else I have attempted I've "tried my best at" and that my friend "is unacceptable" because it does not pay the bills. Every job I have had has not been good enough, but yet, I'm to settle for a $7.00 an hour job because I left a $13.75 an hour job because the job was crappy. I'm so confused and so ticked off as to why I'm the one who is always having to change and the other person (that would be my husband) is allowed to say "You married me like this I'm not changing". *throwing hands up* So I give up then! I can't handle it! I'm so done with feeling like this! I grew up in a miserable family, I've tried to over come it, but I am thrown these wonderful fast balls that just bring back down to where I started. It's so great to look up and see no one up there trying to help you back up. *sigh*

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Life without a job...

So, tonight I sit here, wondering why in the world I can not get a job! I mean its been 5 monhts, and 28 interviews later....nothing! I mean is it me, did I say something I shouldn't have? At times I think to myself "This is a job I could do, the person is nice, the position sounds challenging enough..." but then, after I send a thank you letter, and follow up several times (like you are supposed to do) I hear back from one of my 4 (thats right 4 I said) recruiters "They hired the other candidate for the position". Now, I have battled with self pitty, blaming myself, not thinking I'm good enough, the guilt of my husband working too many hours, and the fact of 5 months without a job and I feel as if I need to settle for the whole "kmart cashier" position. *sigh* I'm not real sure what the job market is looking for. I can walk into a walmart and have the worst experience of my life with a very unfriendly cashire but yet, I have several years experience in dealing with customers and doing admin duties and actually WANT to work and get no where! I mean seriously, the world lacks people who want to do more/better than what is asked of them. I'm one of those people who always give 110%. I'm not just saying that, I really do! But maybe I'm being taught some lesson, I have no idea what that would be but seriously, I am losing my self worth through all of this! HELP!!Someone! I dont' want to work for kmart!! I just want a job that I grow in and become something...is that to much to ask for?!?!