Thursday, August 14, 2008

Understanding....

The moment you commit to the Lord is the moment your fight with the devil and his demons becomes war. Over the last few months I have had mixed emotions about what we are to do and not do for the Lord. As I go through this trying time. I know I keep trying to take care of things myself and not let the Lord do what needs to be done. I keep thinking back to the day that I witnessed to my Nannie (grandmother). I remember her telling me that she believes that if we can fix things ourselves then why bother the Lord? He has bigger things to take care of. I thought that was a very interesting point of view. Since Tim has come back from the Leadership conference there is a new spirit about him. The Lord has rekindled his fire. I am so thankful that the Lord gave me a man who wants to serve the Lord. Tim came back with so much reading material that litteraly, we canceled the cable have done nothing but a lot of ready, and a lot of talking. The more I strive to be like Christ, the more I see the devil and his demons doing their best to destroy my relationship with the Lord. I have had my ups and downs the last few months. I have had my days when I felt I hated the world, even those who are dear to me. I know I have been irritable and I have seen how who I thought were my 'friends' have turned against me. I understand now when the bible talks about dying to self. I need to make sure I do this on a daily basis. I need to rely on the Lord and not my self. This is something I know the Lord has been teaching me for a while. I just need to do it. Please pray for me. I just want to do right in the sight of the Lord.

On another note. We found out yesterday that the job Tim has, is actually starting a new place in MI. The guy said detroit. Tim asked what part and the guy said "Lake Orion". When Tim told me this I began to cry and thank the Lord. That is exactly where we will be moving and where the church is that we want to attend! He will have insurance and making pretty decent money. Thank you Lord! God always comes through even when we don't think He will. Our plans for moving seem to becoming more and more secure. We are still looking at the middle of October. I had my Psych evaluation yesterday. Now we are just waiting on the report to be sent to my doctor so she can submit the letter to the isurance company. Then we will be waiting on the insurance company to let us know if I'm approved. My prayer is that the Lord will allow HIS will.

Well, Lunch is over. Lots of love and prayers....

Friday, August 8, 2008

The world through the eyes of a 15 year old...

We live in a not so great part of the world. It's not dangerous, well not yet at least, or anything. We have been having issues with the neighbors dealing drugs, getting in fights in our front yard, prostituting and so on. Though it has been very difficult, it has just been over the last few days that I have started praying for them. I was so bitter and angry at them all the time that I never even considered praying. Since Tim has come back from the conference we have changed a lot of things in our lives and have listened quietly, as God works on our hearts.

Last night, as I let rusty out. There was Autumn, on her swing listening to her MP3 player. We started talking and she was excited to tell me that she started a "special" kind of school and has already passed 2 of the 4 test to get her GED. Autumn didn't like her school last year. The kids picked on her, called her a snitch and well, to be honest, it was a really bad school that she went too. I encouraged Autumn and told her to keep up the good work and do her best because she really does have a chance to become something in this world. The more we talked to more I found out what really is going on in her life. She told me that her older brother (who has spend time in jail for various things) is pimping out his girlfriend for heroin. She proceeded to tell me of a story that one day Derrick (her brother) took Maria (his girlfriend) to do...well you know and when she got into the car he took down the license plate number. Maria did not come back for 2 hours and Derrick called the cops. He gave the cops the number and when the cop ran the number he stated that the plate was registered to a sex offender. Maria showed up shortly after that. A short while later Maria came in the house crying. Someone asked her what was wrong and she said "We just wasted $70.00". They had received bad drugs. She was then questioned more and Autumn found out that Maria had made $70.00 that day working the streets. When she returned Derrick took the money and gave her $10.00 and he kept $60.00. As I hear this I am horrified. She then proceeds to tell me more and more about what goes on in her house. Now, I have a hard time believing everything that is told to me by them but Autumn doesn't "normally" lie to me. She knows I am very upfront. We talked for a good hour or so and I tried to encourage her as much as I could. I encouraged her to come to church, just to get out of the house and away from them for a while. I pray that one day, she will be able to do what is right. Right now, at 15 she has to keep peace in the house, stay to herself, and try and have some kind of normalcy. The saddest thing is, this is common now adays. Her Grandmother has supported her grandson's as well as her daughters drug habit for 17 years. Her mom has prostituted and done drugs most of her life. Her dad died from diabetes. Her brother is a drug addict. And then there is Autumn. I pray that I can be an encouragement to her...