Thursday, October 8, 2009

Written a few weeks ago....

Since September 18, 2009 my life has been a little emotional. I have gone back and forth between, anger, frustration, forgiveness, hurt, sadness, worry, compassion, and I'm sure there is more I just can't think of the words right now. That is the day my husband was fired from his job. It was a moment in life when we felt that we had been defeated by this world. To know that they terminated him because he took a stand and refused to be treated the way he was treated they turned around and took his honesty, and used it against him. My husband is one of the hardest working people you will know. Whatever he does, he does well. He has many trades under his belt and he is always determined to do better than asked of him. Whoever he works for they will receive loyalty from him and he makes sure he goes above and beyond. He's not perfect, he makes mistakes, but with those mistakes he will strive to do better. The day this went down, I felt like going in and defending him, the anger that welled up inside of me is something I hadn't experienced in years. The tears that trailed from my eyes came because I saw the hurt in his eyes, the defeat on his face, and the sadness in his words. I try my hardest not to relive that day, not to think about what should have been done, what should have been said, or what could have happened had he not met with the managers. I look back now and with the words of my husband just moments after the "blow" he says "This job was a confirmation that we were supposed to go to Michigan. God took that away and he has something better for us". What a comfort to my heart. Though we still find ourselves saying "I have no idea where we are going to get the money for this bill" I reflect back to those words and remember this verse Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." My flesh wants to cry out and take care of this situation, but my heart wants to draw closer to God. My flesh wants to seek revenge, but my heart wants to forgive. My flesh wants to take control, but my heart reminds me who is in control. A verse my husband picked as the theme for this year in the college dorm rings with so much truth. He had no idea when he picked this verse what was to come of our future, but what we both know is...God is in control, and in order to have peace, we MUST trust in Him for everything... Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. The journey is never easy, the road is not always smooth, the path is narrow, the valleys are deep, and the mountaintops are short, but God knows what the outcome is, all I have to do is trust that He will provide.

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