Today I am a preachers wife.
25 years ago I was 7
In 32 years I've experienced a bit of life. I went to public and Christian school. I went to a Baptist college. I married a preacher. I have one dog. I have 5 babies in heaven. I may never be able to have children to hold and watch grow. I am a Pastors wife. I still love to laugh and smile. My best friend is my husband and he seriously knows me better than myself at times. I still struggle with fitting in. Some things people said to me when I was younger still hurt me today. July of 2011 is the first time I experienced true betrayal in the ministry and the Lord was the only one who could heal my broke heart from it. I have come to terms that I am sensitive.
Today I struggle with a broken heart. Wish I could say what it is that was really bothering me. Afraid to put it into words because I don't want to hurt others. Thankful that I don't have to. I know the Lord knows my heart and He will give me comfort.
Today, I wish for more money. Not to be rich. Not even to put food on the table. I just want wish I could go see my grandparents. My family keeps telling me it may not be much longer. My heart breaks just typing that. I love all of my family but my grandparents are the second closes thing to my parents. They hold such a special place in my heart. They gave me wonderful summers, the opportunity to go to a Christian Highschool, paid for a lot of my college. They gave wonderful advice and to see them now, having such a hard time...I just wish I was there to help them...give my dad a break from being down there so much...and I just need more time with them.
Today, I wish my heart would stop hurting, calm down and be more faithful....
Thats who I am today....it could change tomorrow....and I'm not the same as yesterday.....I'm just going to focus on today.